On a Journey

Journie is the name of my youngest. When I found out that I was pregnant with her, I was 12 weeks along, going through the most difficult time of my life; a divorce from a man who had never treated me well and stolen my self-worth. I had lost my home, all my belongings, and hadn’t worked in 5 years. It was me and the two kids living in my mom’s basement when I went to the doctor to find out why I was having stomach problems. Congrats! You’re about to bring another child into this mess of a life you’re living! 

Through the pain I received advice that has become my mantra every time life tries to choke me. She said, “Everyone lives life on their own journey, its not always good, but the destination is what matters.” As long as I’m moving, I’m doing something. Focusing on the journey as well as the destination is my goal. 

We travel through life with all of its ups and downs, when it seems there are more downs than ups its important to keep the journey in mind. For me, learning to look back and see where I’ve been empowers me to move on towards the destination. This year has been tough; I’ve moved three times, been a mother to other children whose mothers don’t deserve that wonderful title, faced the struggles and blessings of a new marriage, quit a fabulous job that I loved to finish school, and continuously tried to find the parts of me that need to be changed. I’m grateful for the successes, but I’m grateful for the ordinary moments too. Good luck on your journey! 

P.S. My Journie is soon to be 5 and she is the feistiest kid of the bunch. She has the mentality of a 5 year old, but the humor of a 16 year old. Sometimes I look at her and remind myself what her name means to me, and then I snap out of it and go back to dealing with her silliness. I love you, Journie Lynn.